My Journey to Jesus – Part 2

In the previous blog post in this series, My Journey to Jesus, I shared how Jesus had just calmed the storm in my mind. At this point, I had no idea it was Jesus’ voice I heard, but that was about to change… 

Jesus Spoke a Second Time

In October 2021, the day before my birthday, I was trying to meditate (in the new age way, not in the biblical sense). Every time, previous to this day, I tried to meditate, and nothing ever happened. I would always ask for something to happen, but nothing ever did, until that day.

I sat there, closed my eyes, took some deep breaths, emptied my mind, and tried to find some sort of peace.

After a short while, I heard a quiet voice say, “Surrender, surrender yourself”.

Woah!

This voice was so small and so quiet I questioned whether I actually heard it, but I most definitely did.

This time I thought it was my “higher self”! I hate it, even as I write this, that both times Jesus reached out to me, I was giving credit to something else!

I was so blind to it all. I couldn’t see the truth yet, but it was slowly starting to unfold.

Our Friendship Group Split

By November 2022, our group dynamic had changed. Some people’s schedules and lives had changed over that time, so trying to manage everyone’s availability became difficult. Three ladies decided they would still meet up in London, as this is close to where they lived and their diaries matched up pretty well. It just wasn’t discussed with me and my friend Karen, and when this happened, I felt like I had been dumped and rejected.

For a short time, it hurt a lot.

So then there were two: Karen and me. We decided to continue meeting up every month and catch up on Zoom calls each week in between. This worked well for us, and we got closer.

Confirmation of Jesus

On the 10th November 2022, I watched a YouTube video by Austin Armstong, and he referenced Jesus in the boat where He said “Be still”! (Mark 4:39).

I was floored! This is when I realised it was Jesus who spoke to me that night and not anyone else.

My mind was completely blown!

It was a lot for me to get my head around, and for months, I toyed with the idea of buying a Bible to read the full story to see what it was all about. Yet I still didn’t make the purchase.

As 2023 came flooding in, I had many realisations, the main one being that staying in that friendship group was actually limiting me. I had outgrown the way I was living and the conversations I was having. I was being separated from them for a reason. I needed more. A different kind of more. I needed more depth and not to be influenced by anyone else.

I’ve always thought that people who are “experts” on a topic are people I should listen to and trust what they say. The problem is, I never questioned whether what they said was actually true until I was separated from the friendship group.

Being forced to be on my own and not be influenced by others made me have to figure things out on my own, which was what I needed all along. No one to tell me who I was, what I should do, or how I should do it. That was on me, though, because I would always ask for their input; I felt like I couldn’t get it right on my own. They were only doing what I asked.

Since being in a business mastermind, money was always a big thing to focus on. How to make more with less effort, how to bring in more energetically, which mentor had a new amazing technique to bring more money in, how to “up-level” your life, “because you’re worth it”, etc., the list goes on.

But now, I was so sick of everything being about money!

I decided to stop focusing on money, aside from making sure I had enough money to pay my bills.

In May of 2023, I decided to pick up a book that had been on my bookshelf since March 2019. It was the book A Course in Miracles (ACIM – FYI do not buy this book!). In this demonic book, written by Helen Schucman, she claimed Jesus was the author and that he was the inner voice that gave her the words.

This book spoke about God and Jesus, and so I would spend hours trying to make it make sense and how it all worked. Each day, I would carry on reading and writing, trying to understand it better. It was all so new to me that it was all I thought about, and I had such a desire for it all to make sense. And I was determined to understand it on my own, without the help of any of these “experts”.

The Constant Chatter in My Head Stopped

I was still doing my daily energy work, and on the 4th July 2023, I had the most awful pain behind my eyes, like my eyes were being pulled backwards. I took paracetamol, and it didn’t do anything. A few hours later, I was journaling about things I struggled with and wondered if I had blocks to creating and achieving goals because it seemed whenever I tried to set business goals, my mind would go blank, and I couldn’t think at all. But, if I were working with clients, helping them, I was full of all the answers and amazing ideas, but for myself, I hit a wall every time.

I got my pendulum out, and it guided me to an imbalance in my pineal gland. On the page of the book I used, it spoke about goal setting, but it also showed a picture of muscles at the back of the eyes that get tight when the pineal gland is imbalanced and calcified. I carried out the energy clearing, and within 10 minutes, the pain behind my eyes had completely gone.

What are the chances that I had that pain and was looking for an imbalance for a completely different thing, and was guided to the thing that would stop the pain? With many false spiritual movements claiming the pineal gland as being the epicentre of enlightenment, I think the enemy thought the process of me discovering it was my “pineal gland” was going to send me deeper into deception, but Jesus had other plans.

Later that day, I realised my mind had stopped the chatter. My mind was quiet, still, no chatter or voices! There was finally peace in my mind. Other than hearing Jesus say “Be still”, this is something I’ve never experienced before: full, uninterrupted peace. And my mind has stayed that way since praise the Lord!

With my new clear head, I carried on working through ACIM, trying to piece together that Jesus is real, God is real, and how this all fits into energy and vibration, etc. I would write pages upon pages of my thoughts and understanding of how I thought it all worked.

Then I decided it was time; I needed to buy a Bible.

Continue the story in Part 3.